Not thirteen anymore

So today not one, not two, but three people confused me for a freshman.

Yesterday in class someone expressed surprise that I was a junior and almost 21 years old.

A week ago at a folk dance party I was talking to a boy who asked how I liked my first year of college. I told him this is my third year, I'm a junior. He was blown away. I asked him if he was a freshman, he said, "Yeah..." and not ten seconds later excused himself and disappeared into the crowd.

I don't know why this bothers me so much, but it really does. I hate looking years younger than I am. For some reason it makes me feel less capable and less confident. I've tried different hairstyles, different makeup, everything I can think of - but I still look young.

Last year I volunteered at a high school student language bowl on campus, and I got confused for one of the high school students. I was with a group of new friends from a class, and it was a super embarrassing experience. And every time it happens, I inevitably find myself in a bathroom less than half an hour later, staring desperately into the mirror wondering what I'm doing wrong. I really hate that feeling and hate criticizing myself when there's really nothing I can do about it, but the comments just give me a sick and frustrated feeling inside.

And if one more person follows up their mistake with, "Oh, but you'll be so glad to look young when you're forty!" I just might explode...