So sometimes random things make me smile.
Today I was thinking about what classes I was going to take winter semester. And I was thinking winter 2010, oh wait, no, winter 2011... 2011? and I smiled.
I took a picture of my fish today, because he is sick and I wanted to show the picture to the pet store man, and when looking at it I can see a photo in a photo frame sitting behind the tank in the picture. And I smiled again.
This random song by David Archuleta came on my Pandora at work, and I smiled.
I was rifling through my purse and my planner fell out and fell open to a page I'd doodled on, and I looked at it and smiled.
I kinda like smiling. :)
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Decisions
I discovered tonight that I am a professional worrier. I also discovered that no matter what a decision is about, I want to know all the details of how it's going to turn out before I make it. I also discovered that my biggest fear is not meeting all the ridiculously high expectations I set for myself.
The question is, now that I've recognized all these things, now what?
That would require making a decision.
The question is, now that I've recognized all these things, now what?
That would require making a decision.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Half a summer
So this weekend I bought a cute little 12 x 18 inch Spain flag and hung it on my wall. I also would like everyone to know that Spain is playing Germany tomorrow - please cheer for the Spanish!!! We're gonna need it. It's like high school Spanish club vs German club all over again.
This weekend I bought my suitcase for my 90 day jaunt in Madrid coming up this fall. I feel like it's a suitcase built for Hagrid or something. It's huge! My mom insists that it really is just an average size, and that once I start packing my life up for three months it'll seem pretty darn small, but right now I'm feeling rather self conscious of its monstrous proportions. Oh well though. I also randomly bought a bottle of shampoo to take with me, and spent 30 minutes talking to my best friend's mom in the process. Gotta love WalMart! Other than that, study abroad plans are coming together. I have all my books, my plane ticket is bought, gotta get a power converter, and decide what all I'm taking with me - 3 pairs of pants and 6 shirts enough? ha... we'll see how this goes. But I've still got a month and a half - seems like an eternity away...
As for the rest of life, my relief society lesson is done, my letter mailed, and our laundry room project is wrapping up. The walls, furniture, and half the floor is painted - just have to finish the floor, put in the ceiling light, put up a shelf, replace the plastic over the windows, and make and hang the curtains. Pictures to come soon!
I got a bridal magazine in the mail today. Is this a hint?!?! Hey, I still have life to live... but I went through my old yearbooks today, and I was looking at my senior class and was somewhat shocked to realize how many of the girls are married now. It's weird. I guess we are all 20 years old - but still! If I decide to take the plunge, I'll let you know. Ha.
This weekend I bought my suitcase for my 90 day jaunt in Madrid coming up this fall. I feel like it's a suitcase built for Hagrid or something. It's huge! My mom insists that it really is just an average size, and that once I start packing my life up for three months it'll seem pretty darn small, but right now I'm feeling rather self conscious of its monstrous proportions. Oh well though. I also randomly bought a bottle of shampoo to take with me, and spent 30 minutes talking to my best friend's mom in the process. Gotta love WalMart! Other than that, study abroad plans are coming together. I have all my books, my plane ticket is bought, gotta get a power converter, and decide what all I'm taking with me - 3 pairs of pants and 6 shirts enough? ha... we'll see how this goes. But I've still got a month and a half - seems like an eternity away...
As for the rest of life, my relief society lesson is done, my letter mailed, and our laundry room project is wrapping up. The walls, furniture, and half the floor is painted - just have to finish the floor, put in the ceiling light, put up a shelf, replace the plastic over the windows, and make and hang the curtains. Pictures to come soon!
I got a bridal magazine in the mail today. Is this a hint?!?! Hey, I still have life to live... but I went through my old yearbooks today, and I was looking at my senior class and was somewhat shocked to realize how many of the girls are married now. It's weird. I guess we are all 20 years old - but still! If I decide to take the plunge, I'll let you know. Ha.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Perfectionism
"Seriously! How could anyone even THINK that, much less actually do it! I mean, seriously, it's so OBVIOUS! I would never have messed up like that. I wish they would take this seriously!"
Do you ever find yourself thinking that sort of thing? I do sometimes. And I wish that I didn't.
In a job interview earlier this year, a potential employer asked me what my biggest weakness was. And, not that I'm egotistical or anything, I was flustered and couldn't think of a thing to say. So I mumbled and made something up that was sort of flaw-ish and kind of rambled for a while. I didn't get the job, and that was just fine - it wasn't just that part of the interview that didn't go so hot... but afterward I was talking to my mom about the question, and how it had thrown me. I was still having trouble thinking of a good answer for a professional setting. She paused for a minute, then said, "Well I can think of one." Confused, I asked her about it, and she said, "You tend to expect those around you to live up to the same standards you set for yourself. You seem to demand perfection."
I thought about this a while and, while I'd like to say she was wrong, she wasn't. I've realized, after paying attention to myself, that in a lot of situations I really do hold people to my same level of performance, whether in work competency, church standards, modesty, responsibility in the apartment, and a host of other things. I seem to think that everyone should be working toward the same goals as me, and get frustrated and annoyed when they don't perform to my expectations.
Isn't that sad? Seriously, everyone is different, and I say that all the time, and then I subconsciously want them to be the same as me. Admittedly, there are some situations in which holding people to a standard of excellence is important. But not in every scenario, and not without regard for their own personality, character, abilities, etc. I guess this is something for me to work on. This is NOT how I want to be, how I want to be treating people, how I want to be looking at or thinking about them. While I feel it's important to encourage others to be their best, I'm not perfect either. And expecting everyone else to live up to my strengths isn't right at all. I wouldn't want them to expect me to live up to them.
Reality check. People aren't perfect. But we're all working on it. And that's enough.
Do you ever find yourself thinking that sort of thing? I do sometimes. And I wish that I didn't.
In a job interview earlier this year, a potential employer asked me what my biggest weakness was. And, not that I'm egotistical or anything, I was flustered and couldn't think of a thing to say. So I mumbled and made something up that was sort of flaw-ish and kind of rambled for a while. I didn't get the job, and that was just fine - it wasn't just that part of the interview that didn't go so hot... but afterward I was talking to my mom about the question, and how it had thrown me. I was still having trouble thinking of a good answer for a professional setting. She paused for a minute, then said, "Well I can think of one." Confused, I asked her about it, and she said, "You tend to expect those around you to live up to the same standards you set for yourself. You seem to demand perfection."
I thought about this a while and, while I'd like to say she was wrong, she wasn't. I've realized, after paying attention to myself, that in a lot of situations I really do hold people to my same level of performance, whether in work competency, church standards, modesty, responsibility in the apartment, and a host of other things. I seem to think that everyone should be working toward the same goals as me, and get frustrated and annoyed when they don't perform to my expectations.
Isn't that sad? Seriously, everyone is different, and I say that all the time, and then I subconsciously want them to be the same as me. Admittedly, there are some situations in which holding people to a standard of excellence is important. But not in every scenario, and not without regard for their own personality, character, abilities, etc. I guess this is something for me to work on. This is NOT how I want to be, how I want to be treating people, how I want to be looking at or thinking about them. While I feel it's important to encourage others to be their best, I'm not perfect either. And expecting everyone else to live up to my strengths isn't right at all. I wouldn't want them to expect me to live up to them.
Reality check. People aren't perfect. But we're all working on it. And that's enough.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
World Cup 2010!!!
SPAIN BEAT PORTUGAL 1:0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quarter finals here we come - Spain vs Paraguay - we can totally take them. July 3, 20:30. Viva Espana!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
David Villa kicks the opening and winning goal against Portugal
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Live like you believe
Today I wrote a letter to a really good friend of mine. It's nice. I'm better with writing than with actual spoken conversation. But in this particular letter, I was reminiscing on different parts of my life and the way different people had influenced it. And I ended up writing about the day when I gained my sure testimony of who I am and that God loves me.
It came during a Seminary presentation by Jenny Phillips. I was late, and I was in the back, and I was feeling more alone and unwanted than I had ever felt in my entire life. I was so hurt and so upset that I just didn't know where to turn anymore.
And then she sang this song. And somewhere in the middle of it, I found what I was looking for.
And it changed my life.
It came during a Seminary presentation by Jenny Phillips. I was late, and I was in the back, and I was feeling more alone and unwanted than I had ever felt in my entire life. I was so hurt and so upset that I just didn't know where to turn anymore.
And then she sang this song. And somewhere in the middle of it, I found what I was looking for.
And it changed my life.
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